Camp Fuckhead Retard
I know what you are thinking. Cock-ninja is an altruist? That's right bitches, I fucking care about people!!! Just like Anastasia, who just adopted a female 'pierogie' and 'borscht' making Slavek. I am so a jealous of you. Bitch.
O.k., so every year, each counsellor has to make up his own event for the fuckhead retards. I provided all the floatation devices. What the fuck, I have acquired a fairly large collection over the years, and most of the models are outdated, so........
The event includes swimming across fuckhead rapids to fuckhead island at the other side. That seems specific enough, right... but it is important to understand that there are no rules. You are allowed to do whatever it takes to be the first one to get to fuckhead island. (That's why some of the fuckhead retards choose to wear helmets. It can get pretty ugly.)
Off they Go!!!!!!!!!!!
The problem is that... uh .. that none of these fucking retards have ever seen water before. What the fuck? It's water. It's what we need to survive!!!! Swim Mother-Fuckers!!! Swim!!! (i.e for future reference, it's probably not a good idea to let a retard swim with a helmet on, it can get water-logged and heavy and cause a retard to sink!)
(All pictures and overhead photography provided by New X10 Chink Camera Mount)
Here's Carl fighting for dear life. Pick up your head and breathe you fucking-asshole-retard!!! You're not even using your floatation device (mother-fucker cost me 69.95 plus tax!) You fucking retard, you have 36 DDD's within life saving grasp and you're not even using them!!! This is complete bullshit! I am not taking blame for your death. I fucking hate all of you retards. I am so fucked.
Noone made it to the island.
The event is still under investigation.
Ironically, all of the floatation devices are still in-tact, and back in my walk-in closet.
(p.s. Beav: There is no way you are getting to hell before I am. Slutbag!!!)
posted by cockninja at 8:47 AM
16 Comments:
Is that third pic of an Asian retard? Wow! I have never seen one of those before... But, where is his camera?
As the old saying goes, what's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.
I really thought ripping on retards would be easy, but actually it's fucking hard, because it is so fucking easy.
Beav.: Don't all-retards look Asian?
Pinky: I've been trying to have a t-shirt made that says that, and I'm going to wear it to the Special Olympics, however... wouldn't it be embarrassing to get your ass kicked by a bunch of retards? It would be like getting beat up by a girl, (or getting the shit-fuck-smacked out of you with a 24-inch-two-headed-dildo... )
Don't think I don't remember
I have a friend who works with retards. He said its easy to beat them up. They are slower then regular people. Like they will raise their fist to hit you but stay frozen like that for a few seconds before making the connection that they want to hit you. Kinda short term memory, like a goldfish. Anyway, By that time you know what they up to and you can easily beat them up.
I have heard that "those people" are an extremely horny bunch and not ashamed to flog it in public.... I think they'll dry hump your leg if you're not careful. Best to carry a water spritzer with you.
Pinks--I'd be into helping them out, but I'm not into guys who drool all over and grunt their words...hmmm...or am I...
What's cool about retards is that if you tell them that something is a cookie they will automatically put it in their mouth.
Ninj--yeah like your penis you mean?
Exactamundo!!!!
Yeah, well make sure you get one without any teeth cos those fuckers like to bite...
I think Wally has a retarded kid or something, because he's ignoring this post.
"Wally, don't worry I'm sure your kid has had enough cookies to last a lifetime!"
Stallion: You always have the best references.
Spanks why don't you visit me?? Bitch.
Hey guys, 'sup?
Now that I can finally log on, all the good retard jokes are taken.
Allow me to regale you with a story.
A retard in my hometown, where I grew up, you know, spent my formative years, would walk around "ringing" his hands saying, "Play cards, 2, 3, 4, Play cards, 2, 3, 4!"
That's it. That's all Ive got.
Wally: I do not want to know where you grew up.
Um, can't take part in this bashing festival..
sorry folks, went over that line for me.
Ninj, that's good, cuz I wasn't about to tell ya's
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