Exclusive Michael Jackson Photos

I've been holding onto these photo's for the right opportunity to cash in, so I thought I'd bring them to the 'National Enquirer'. I figured they'd be all over this 'exclusive' material. That's not the case at all. Bastards!

When I showed the assistant editor the photos she just kind of stared at me in disbelief. At first I thought it was 'awe', but she just shook her head and told me that I'd better leave.

So I told her that I wanted to speak to the Managing Editor.

She said that he was busy.

"Too busy for exclusive Michael-Jackson-with-an-eight-year-old-boy-photos!"

Again she told me to leave, or she was going to get security.

So, now I'm fucking pissed and I'm like, "What the fuck is wrong with you? These photos are worth a fortune!"

She took me aside, and in a very agitated voice said, "Mr. Ninja, what you have here are two apes engaged in oral sex, now this is your last chance to leave before I get security!"

And I said, "Two apes engaged in oral sex! What the fuck are you talking about you RACIST BITCH? Are you fucked in the head? Go ahead... get security; I'm not leaving until the managing editor sees these fucking photos!!!"

(Photos Taken at Michael Jackson's California estate by the NEW X10 Chink Camera Mount)

O.k., so after being arrested and paying the thousand dollars bail, I decided to conduct a survey, so I stood outside a local Gas n' Go and took a double-blind, A, B, C, or D., 1000-person, random-survey. The choices were as follows:

A. Michael Jackson with an 8 year old boy.

B. Two Apes engaged in oral sex.

C. Not Sure

D. All of The above.

The results were as follows:

A. 953

B. 43

C. 4

D. 0

There you have it. Popular consensus in the making. Now all I have to do is convince the judge.

(note. The four 'not sures' include: Babtist Minister, Calculus Entropy; Kentucky Governor, Ernie Fletcher; President of the NAACP, Bruce S. Gordon; and a girl on a ten-speed bike eating a grape Charm's Blow Pop.)

p.s. I am not from Kentucky.

p.s.s Could I try any harder to get kicked off of Blogger.com?

ninj.

NEW X10 CHINK Camera Mount

Introducing the most exciting and significant Camera product of the year! It's the NEW X10 CHINK camera mount. The NEW X10 CHINK camera mount and controller allows you to move your NEW X10 CHINK camera mount from left to right, up and down! With the X10 ScanPad Remote, you can remotely move the position of your NEW X10 CHINK camera mount to monitor whatever you want! With its Ultra Sweep & Scan™ feature you can put your NEW X10 CHINK camera mount on auto-pilot to sweep between 4 preset locations, perfect for any occassion: Weddings, School Plays, Bar Mitzvahs, Trips to the Andes, bring your NEW X10 CHINK camera mount with you wherever you go. Incredible 240º x 130º Pan 'n Tilt Range - Now you can easily control remotely what your camera is looking at; Pan 240 degrees left to right (31 seconds per cycle) and tilt 130 degrees up and down! (15 seconds per cycle). Amazingly smooth & fluid movement! Perfect for at-home surveillance. Your NEW X10 CHINK camera mount set on 'auto mode' will automatically sweep thru 4 stored positions (ex. front driveway, street, front lawn, and front door area.) Great for monitoring an entire 240 degree area when you're not home!

X10 CHINK ScanPad Remote (Not-Included) .

(This post is dedicated to Anastasia Beaverhausen. I know how much she hate these mother-fuckers!)